Men, Let's Take Back the Night
by Travis Runion
First of all, it's not what you think. This is not a Justin Timberlake groove from 2013, but we do need to take back something that has been lost. The problem is that something has been stolen from us right before our eyes. With the problem, we have a great opportunity in front of us, and hopefully we can each discover a solution.
FALLING BACK
The problem started in the early hours of Sunday, November 3 when the clocks on our smartphones rolled back one hour. Since then, we've had to watch the sun set during our drive home from work. Many of us are now spending most of our weekday evenings at home with very little if any daylight.
If you have young children, you are already starting to feel the square footage in your home shrink each day. So, what are you going to do? Let me challenge you (myself included) to reject passivity and lead courageously in this area for the next five months and beyond.
REDEEMING THE EXTRA TIME
There is a great opportunity for each of us in these extra hours of time at home and indoors. It can actually be a gift but it's going to take some intentionality, some risk, and some self-denial. Are you up for the challenge?
The easy thing to do is to what most passive men do. They let screens and social media take over. Everyone might be in the same room or same house, but there's no conversation, no interaction, just a bunch of blue light colored faces in the dark. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN, MEN!!! (yes, I'm yelling here)
Honestly, in the last few years, I have allowed myself to fall into unhealthy patterns of passivity in this area. I am too easily distracted by my phone, reading about sports and current events. I am content to work on work in the evenings at home, and content to not engage with my family.
Men, we have a perfect opportunity to move, take initiative, and give your family what they need most from you...YOUR ATTENTION.
Here are some practical tips and ideas to help make it happen.
START SMALL AND SIMPLE
Use the snowball method. Set a timer with a target of 30 minutes, and play a simple game like UNO, Yahtzee, Candyland, or Chutes and Ladders. Make it fun. Be fun. Winner gets two cookies. Loser gets four. Shut down all the screens. Stack up everyones phones and be face to face. Everyone has to play. You take the lead.
BUILD ON SUCCESS
When my older kids were young, I made one night a week "Family Night." It was part game, part bible study, part object lesson and all fun family time. Some of the activities and lessons stuck with our kids for years. A simple web search for "family night ideas" will return some great activities to try. The point is to pick one, try it and see what works. Here are some of our favorites...
The Lost Sheep - make little "sheep" from rolled up socks and hide them around the house. Turn off all the lights and let the kids search with flashlights. Make one sheep really hard to find and party hard when it's found. Play music and dance. Tell them this is what God does when one of His lost sheep is found.
Make your own pizza night - get everyone in the kitchen and make cooking and clean up fun
Charades, Guesstures, Reverse Charades, etc. - huge laughs
UNO Tournament - with a home made trophy
Watch Home Videos - still our kid's #1 choice
Bike or Hike - find a trail with a waterfall at the end
Build a fire with S'Mores
Chat Pack, Table Topics, etc. - fun questions to spark conversations
Meaningful Movies - if you do choose to watch something, make sure it's inspiring and impactful.
KEEP SWINGING
It doesn't have to be perfect. You might strike out, but don't be discouraged. The important part is to keep swinging, keep trying new things until you get a hit. Make it a goal to spend at least 30 minutes together each night. The quality time home run that we all strive for will happen in the midst of quantity time and frequency.
IT'S WORTH THE EFFORT
This is where you lean on "Expecting God's Reward." Whether you strike out or hit a home run with the family night activities, know that your attention and energy is making an impact. We are exhorted by God to teach His truths to our children.
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6: 6-9
Do you see the daily regularity in that verse? That's what we need to strive for, bringing God's truths into our every day moments.
God promises that we will reap what we sow. So, why not plant in your family garden the seeds of meaningful moments, lots of laughter, and deep connection. Imagine what fruit those seeds will produce in the years to come. You have the time and the challenge, now crank up that Timberlake track and "Take Back the Night." And YES, a little bit of dancing is encouraged…or a lot!