Leading in Humility
by Travis Runion
Father’s Day is a great time for dads to be intentional as well as introspective. It’s like your birthday. Close friends or spouses might forget, but it is very rare that you are not aware of “your day” even weeks or months away. So let’s leverage our internal awareness for good. Let’s take time this week to assess and remind ourselves as fathers what we are called to do and be. I am calling it a Leadership Check In. This is not intended as a judgmental beat down but as an encouraging kick in the pants to get out there and “Be the man” or in this case “be the dad.”
As men, we are called to several key actions; to initiate, to pursue, to protect, to provide, to move, and, most importantly, to lead. So how are we leading our families? It’s great to focus on areas like Finances, Schedules, Education, and Discipline, but there are other areas that have eternal implications. These are where we should take a closer look.
I’ve chosen the following areas based on what God has exposed in my life over the last several months. Maybe you can relate. You may have a list of your own.
How are we leading our families in:
Selflessness & Humility
Grace & Compassion
Worship
Generosity and Sacrifice
I will be honest. The revealing of my shortcomings has not been a pleasant process. If you’ve ever had a dirty flesh wound, you know that it is not pleasant to have the layers pulled back, the rawness exposed, and the impurities cleaned out. If you question whether thorough cleaning is essential, ask anyone who's endured a deep infection. It's not pretty. Proper wound cleaning and care is the only path to healing and wholeness, and it's no different with proper "soul care."
So, with those pleasantries out of the way, let’s proceed.
How are we leading in Selflessness and Humility?
The opposite of selflessness and humility is selfish pride. Hopefully, that is obvious. However, pride makes this is a tough area to address because pride, like copper in an electrical system, is at the core of our wiring. It’s the root of our sinfulness. Even worse, pride strategically blinds us to our selfishness and lack of humility. Scripture is filled with calls to reject the pride in our nature and pursue humility. The challenge is that humility is, many times, the opposite of what we see in our culture.
Don’t be selfish, don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. Philippians 2:3-4
Using this scripture as a reference for exposing selfishness and pride, think about how this might show up at home. Drawing from my own revelations, here are some questions to consider...
Do you have an expectation of "being served" at home rather than being the lead servant?
Is there an unspoken understanding of "that's dad's seat" or "that's dad's chair?"
Is it understood that you have the first dibs on the best cut of meat or biggest burger, etc?
Do you opt out of family chores or meal cleanup because you have "more important" work to do? Do you give yourself a pass because you've been doing "important" work?
When you come home, do you walk in expecting greetings from your wife and kids or do you walk in with greetings, attention and energy towards them?
Do you disproportionately choose non-relational or solitary activities over engaging with your family?
Does your personal schedule reflect a focus on yourself or your family?
How much time and money do you spend on yourself versus creating moments and memories with your family?
Are you the leader in words of love, admiration and praise to your family?
Are you leading your family in a spirit of gratitude and thankfulness for God and His blessings?
Let me encourage you to be honest with yourself and ask God to reveal all the hidden areas where pride can take root. Sometimes our pride is obvious to everyone but us. Other times, only you and the all-knowing Father are aware of what's in the heart. Humble yourself and ask Him to help reveal it and get it out.
That's a lot to consider at one time, so we will pick this discussion up over the next few months with the rest of the topics. For now, peel back the layers and do some real "soul cleaning."